Sunday, August 7, 2011

TB: Cold Grey Light of Dawn

Con: And today’s show is sponsored by Apple. Blatant advertisement, in less than two seconds into the show. Are they really that hard up for cash? They're already getting my hard earned money. Sheesh. I guess the extra funds are needed for SM’s weekly makeup routine and AP’s Hollywood Tans and Pedis.

Con: RIP random human chick on security detail. This is why defenseless humans probably shouldn’t be working for vamps, at least without a cattle-prod handy. Apple products are obviously no help with surviving vamp attacks, with or without cool Apps. Take that hipsters.

Con: Poor Pam is still in a stinky mood, due to her own witch curse issues. I hope they resolve this one fast, because I hate seeing Pammie so tormented and pissed. At least she kicks ass and spews endless expletives while doing it.

Pro: Lafayette is going to burn this Taco Stand down, or some such nonsense, if he isn’t let go. Funny thing is, he looks pretty free to take off whenever he chooses, with the old man preoccupied with humping his underage wife in the next room. Rewind-Lafayette is a Medium? Okay.

Pro: Debbie isn’t as stupid as she looks. Yes there is something wrong with your boyfriend always thinking about another chick. If she was smart, she would leave his 8-pack ass, and jump on the Marcus wonder ride. At least he isn’t as boring as a lump of mud.

Con: I knew it was a bad idea not to move the skinamax show indoors. Oddly, the scene seemed way hotter peering through foliage & Alcide’s sad eyes, and of course sans the distracting Lilith Fair music. Maybe because I could barely see AP and her ridged, “I’m doing Eric finally” sex poise-acting.

Con: Tara not taking her lover’s advice and ditching this timbuktoo town. Can someone please hand this woman a non-refundable one-way bus trip straight out of town already?

Con: Tara wailing, after her lover departs, is not at all pretty to see or hear. Can we get back to Sookie and Eric doing-it already? Thanks

Pro: I never noticed how much taller Hoyt is compared to Jason. The guys is either a Tree or Jason is really damn short. Take your pick.

Con: I doubt Queen Behul will submit himself to the same ridiculous silver-binding task, he orders all vamps to.

Con: Barely making it past the threshold of Sookie’s house, our two lovers quickly show us that every angle and position is covered during their love fest.

Pro: Our little doctor with a big personality is back. “I’m going to shove my fist up your ass and use it as a hand warmer.” Complete hilarity, the curses that spew from Pam’s mouth, as Dr. Ludwig gives Pam the ultimate peel. Ouch.

Pro: Tara walking down the middle of the road, with only bottle of hooch to keep her company. Hopefully someone will take pity on her and run her ass down. A witch will do just fine.

Con: Tara has zero backbone, if she allows herself to once again fall prey to this show's latest crazy villain. At least we now know why the hell she was written to return to Bon Temps this season. To be a mindless follower of course.

Pro: Cue military drums, as Queen Behul’s mansion undergoes operation lock-down.

Con: Guinea pig Jessica is the first to undergo silver-binding. You notice Behul isn’t subjecting himself to his own truly stupid idea yet. This is sort of like when crazy cult leaders make their subjects drink the “Kool-Aid” first.

Con: Poor Pam makes me want to never get Botox or sleep in a coffin. I think Ginger enjoyed shooting Pam up and throwing down the lid on her coffin, a little too much.

Pro: "Oh, Christmas morning." Holly shows us how she “freshens up” for a man.  Andy is so bad at dating that he buys discounted roses, tells his date about it, then proceeds to take them back, after he decides that dating while detoxing might be a bad thing.

Con: I hope this contributes to the story in some way, because I really didn’t need to see a Alcide/Debbie sex scene.  Strangely, I felt more heat between these two than Eric & Sookie.

Pro: I love the Antonia/Marnie accent. It sort of sounds like a soft-feminine version of Inigo Montoya’s accent, from the Princess Bride. I’m just waiting for her to break-out with “You killed my father, prepare to die” at any moment.


Pro: Ginger straddling crazed-Pam's thumping casket, is the sexyest thing I've seen in awhile. What a lady.

Pro: The most interesting part of tonight’s episode was courtesy of the witch curse drawing the vamps out into the sun. I loved the random house coat wearing townie walking out into the sun, while Maxine waters her plants and calls out her neighborly suspicions with a squinty side-eyed “I knew it”.

Con: I have a feeling Alan Ball is going to pull a Twilight for Jessica’s save next week. As in, Jason will dash in to save her just before she meets the sun. So predictable.

Okay what is with the matronly drab grayish buttoned down dress/smock/coat Sookie is wearing in the promos? Does membership to a commune come with the Eric wonder ride? I hope the old Eric comes back soon, along with Sookie’s old hoe wear.

Go Here for io9's Recap.
Pictures courtesy of Shadow of Reflection.

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