Sunday, June 26, 2011

TB: She's Not There

I'm still posted up in cold-rainy Alaska. But at least I have HBO where I'm staying. Unfortunately, work has gotten in the way of catching the finale episode to The Game of Thrones.

To say I was only a bit let down by this premiere would be an understatement. From the cheesy Fairy scenes to the incessant crying, this could have been so much better. It's been awhile since I've read the books, but I don't recall any 1yr flash forward. This must be another crappy idea cooked up by Alan Ball. The best parts of this episode were the ones with Pam and the last one with Eric & Sookie. Speaking of Eric, when did my man stop eating? Manorexic much. Please eat sweetie pie. I love my Viking Vampires with a bit of meat on them. Thanks.

Con: Atop Mount Olympus, Sookie visits Fairy for the first time. More like a bad 70s B-Fantasy. I hope this is a dream sequence; because Fairy is truly disappointing.

Pro: The rumors can be put to rest, the TB Intro remains the same.

Con: Cheesy villains and extremely bad dialogue is exactly what this show has been missing. (insert sarcastic sneer)

Con: Benjamin Buttons in reverse. Granddaddy RIP.

Con: Sookie crying scene Take 2.

Con: A 10min trip into Fairy will cost you one year of your life.  Or in our case, watching 1hr of TB will cost you 5yrs of life.  I'm not sure which one's worse.

Con: How does Behul know about Claudine? Come on Sook, Behul is still a lying a-hole. Get a clue honey.

Pro: Eric to Behul: “Nice Pants.”  Not sure what he meant by this, but I liked the cut-down.

Con: Crying Scene #3. Only an hour since Sook remembers Behul breaking her heart, and she's already having second thoughts about breaking up with the bastard.

Con: One year later, and Andy is addicted to V, Lafayette looks like he has joined The Village People, and crazy-spinster witches takeover the town. I hope this whacked-out boring future is all just a dream, because I don’t know how much more I can take.

Con: Hoyt & Jessica in Domestic Bliss.

Con: Eric is now manorexic. Maybe he was so depressed that Sookie was missing for the past year, that he couldn't eat. Yeah, that’s got to be it.

Con: Vampires welcome the public. Be very afraid.

Pro: Tara is now a cage fighter and a Lesbian. Now this I can believable. I guess if you switch teams, you also have to switch names-Toni.

Pro: Jason the policeman is not as annoying as Jason pretending to be one last season.

Pro: Sam isn’t a cold-blooded killer. Well, at least he didn’t kill his bro.

Con: First sex scene of the season is Tara getting down with another chick. Not on the top of my must-watch scenes, but then again, I’m not a dude.

Pro: Pam and Jessica have a moment in the ladies room, and Pam delivers the best one-liners of the night. Something about Jessica Eye Fucking Fangbangers from across the room and not knowing vamps don’t use toilets.  She's such an amateur.

Con: Sam is a swinger. Say what?

Con: Take note, being nice to Back-Water Shifters in your spare time doesn't pay.

Pro: Anything to do with Eric and a shower/or post shower scene is a plus in my book. Such a short scene, but it may have been worth this craptastic and boring premiere.  Then again, maybe not.

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